Standing Still

My beautiful birthday orchid.

Lately the days here have been quiet, still. Though the summer has been full of excitement, there is a peaceful pattern that life has taken on. We aren't moving anywhere fast; driving wildly towards some new goal or another. I'm trying to write a little each day and plan new things to eat on our weekly menus and find new places to explore on the weekends. Little things. Happy things. They are enough for me.

It wasn't always like this. It won't always be, I know.

But it's the first time in my life where I haven't felt debilitated by wanderlust or felt a need to accomplish some huge feat right this very instant. It's the first time ever that I've truly slowed down. I'm happy where I am. I'm okay not knowing what my long term plan is, signing it in blood and getting it notarized. I think I'm finally realizing just how much life I have ahead of me. How malleable and beautiful it truly is.  

I turned twenty-four today. Birthdays haven't been a huge deal for me since high school (before that they were a totally big deal because my mom threw some pretty bomb birthday parties). Twenty-four is fairly unremarkable. It's not a quarter of a century yet. My insurance rates don't go down. I can already drink and vote and drive a car. I don't have the milestones of marriage and graduation and a baby directly ahead of me anymore. Twenty-four is a pause, a comma, a breath, and I am ready for it.

For me, it feels like a year to examine my dreams and accept that they may not be realized for a while. It is a year to trust that where I am is where I am supposed to be. It is a time to spend with my husband and child and be content. To love where I live. To love who I am. To do things that make me happy. To be happy.

This is where I am, and there is no place else I would rather be. 


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