Nothing's Set in Stone

We were done, you see, until all of a sudden we weren't. The decision was out of our hands. She was coming into our lives and the plan we once had in mind didn't matter anymore. And thank God for that fateful intervention. I see now that my plans were all wrong.

Now she's here and I can't imagine life without her. But I wonder about the life that might have been sometimes.

I wonder if there would be a hole in my heart, nothing more than a pinprick now, but still noticed every now and again. A pang, quickly fleeting amidst the chaos of life. A longing I couldn't quite place. I wonder if it would grow through the years - an emptiness that refused to be filled. Something would always be missing, and I wouldn't know what. Or maybe I would guess it every now and again, but shrug it off and move on, because really, what else could I do?

And maybe this is why I find it so hard to set my plans in stone again. Because I know what it is to stare awestruck at this babe and know that my life would never be complete without her. I know the overwhelming grace that can come from the unexpected.

I can imagine being here again, looking down at someone I love so deeply that I can't imagine that my world existed before them. Whispering into the tiniest ear, "You were always meant to be."

Nothing's set in stone.

Nothing ever is.