First of all, thank you to everyone who reached out with kind words and encouragement in the last week or so. Even if I didn't respond, the sentiment was deeply appreciated. I'm still not doing great, but I am doing better.
Honestly, I'm having a bit of a quarter life crisis. In all sorts of ways. I'm a quarter of the way into my 25th year, and I feel like I'm struggling to find a vision for my life. I thought I would have a much clearer view of my professional future at this point, and the fact that I don't have that clarity of purpose and singular driven focus is bringing up all sorts of doubts and negative feelings.
I have the family I want, I've surrounded myself with people who make me happy and inspire me, we have a lovely home and comfortable lifestyle, we even have enough money to feel secure - I have a very blessed and wonderful life. And yet, I'm yearning to find that niche in the world where my voice, my education, my passions find value outside of the home.
In other words, I'm still trying to find my place in the big picture. I'm trying to figure out who I want to be, outside of being a mother and wife and family member and friend. And I know, for me, it's going to involve being a writer. And I know it's going to be hard. And I know this isn't the first or the last time it's going to get me down.
But I'm going to keep searching. Keep writing. Keep working until I find that spot in the world, because I know it's out there if I just keep looking.