Avery turned one last Friday, and I still can't believe her first year is over. I'm trying like crazy to hang onto every baby moment I can. I know she won't be curled up in my arms before bed each night for much longer. I know those cute little "no no no's" she says will soon turn into tantruming, screaming "no no no's." It's only a matter of time until I look back at these photographs and barely remember how she was ever so small.
But the fact that her babyhood is over isn't the only reason I'm reluctant to let go of this year. I know the wonderful milestones that are ahead, and I'm already anxious to hear her little voice and watch her toddle about the world as she turns into a tiny person this next year.
I think the reason I've been getting so choked up over this year coming to an end is because when I look back from her birth to right now, I see the most beautiful, magical year of my life.
Her first year pieced back together the broken parts left behind from my PPD. Her birth set in motion a year of immense internal change - a journey towards learning to love myself, and to feel worthy of that love. She helped my relationship with Rob and my mothering with Lucas. She just made me better, simply by being. She saved my life.
So my dear sweet Avery, Happy Birthday.
I'm so glad you were born. I can't imagine a world without you.
Stay tuned for a peek at Avery's "You Are My Sunshine" themed party next week!